once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to. -alan keightley

it's amazing how alone you can feel, even when you're surrounded by many people.

i'm in my favorite coffee shop inhaling my favorite smoothie. you know, just doing the whole hipster thing. i can't believe i actually just said that.

these past few days have been filled with thoughts of inadequacy, failure, fear of failing, weirdness,  loneliness, and no- good things of that sort. but then.

i  thought something rather profound this morning. the place i am at in my life, or the place i'll be at in a matter of weeks, is a place many people would love to be at. i have no one keeping me here. no job tying me down. no obligations to fulfill. i am the holder of my own fate. i can stay, or i can go. that's a pretty freeing and beautiful idea.

as for me, i have chosen to go. i have lived in augusta county for just shy of 18 years. you can do a lot in 18 years. i have been doing a lot of the same. over, and over, and over again. i've known a large number of the same people my whole life. i've gone to the same church my whole life. i've driven the same roads, gone to the same restuarants, walked the same routes over and over again. you get the picture.

where am i going? i am packing up a car that i don't have yet to travel from stuarts draft, virginia to stanton, california. (pretty ironic considering the coffee shop that i'm in right now is located in a town also called staunton, with just one letter of a difference grammatically, but worlds apart otherwise). i am so excited to cross this vast, beautiful country. i'm even excited that i'm doing it solo, and not with someone else. six months ago, my vision of a cross-country trip was vastly different. i am learning that change can be good.

what will i do once i get there? besides knowing that i'll be crashing on my brother, peter's couch along with his 4 roommates, i don't know much else. i do know that i'll most likely spend lots of time at the different beaches, spending time with my brother, walking around exploring, taking photographs, and most likely babysitting. oh, and i'll probably visit a handful of colleges. blasted colleges.

i don't have a unique way of ending this.

so. you should check out this website. this dude. and his ideas. http://chrisguillebeau.com