rain.

i woke up this morning to rain. for many people this isn't a big deal, but when you live in orange county, california, it's huge. we haven't had rain since march. that's 7 months ! today was spent in a huge tee shirt and leggings, at the kitchen table working on stuff for my international business class, as my midterm is this week. normally a day spent doing homework isn't fun or particularly enjoyable, but today because of the rain, it was just right. the rain sounded like hundreds of kids licking the ground.

when i ventured outside for dinner, this rush of cold air punched me in the face. walking to the car, i looked down to admire my peter pan shoes,  and saw a red leaf plastered against the pavement.

 i was worried that in moving to california, i would miss the changing of seasons.

but it appears that i'm not missing anything.

tonight, i go to sleep happy.

i hope you are well.

confession:

i cry while watching the season finale of "real world". every time.


yes, i watch "real world."

every day

new possibilities arise. 
and that is pretty neat. 


i've been spinning an awfully exciting idea around my head these past few days. i hope to share it with others soon.


my first friend that i made in california, whose grown to be my best friend is leaving the country for at least six months(mostly likely for longer) in less than two weeks. i absolutely despise good-byes, as i'm sure most of you do, too. thinking about his departure makes my insides ache.




i hope you are well. and that you know you are loved. 

addictions.

The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.

That's it. That's all i've got.

Peace.

crazy

how listening to one song can cause you to look up every single thing you ever wrote to each other..


is there any truth in those hundreds of messages? or are they all just a bunch of bull shit lies? i feel like such a fool.

a fool who is afraid to love again.

with love comes the risk of being hurt. people tell you that your heart might get broken one day. what they don't tell you, is that sometimes the pieces will never again fit together as they should.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWi7Vfc3Sxw

tonight, i'm.

-missing kenya.
-thankful for friends.
-glad to be with family.
-ready to talk to you again.

last night.

i cried out to you.

i got nothing back.


i don't know how many more times i can go with you not being there..



on a less heavy note, my senior prom is tonight; 3000 miles away. needless to say, i'm not going. i wish i was. but spending $350 to get there is just ridiculous. i hope no one gets pregnant tonight, unless of course you want to i guess? just save yourselves some trouble and wear a chastity belt, kids.

also. for the first time in five or six years, i'm missing the mid-atlantic district youth retreat this weekend. bummer.

but, i'm about to work five days in a row so that should count for something, right? right.


happy mayday everyone. "everyone has value." "how can anyone be illegal?" -prop.