Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you,
it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to
blend into the world before, and people continue to hurt them.




so they get tired. they stop trying.

sometimes, i forget this.

last night, i failed.




 for the first time in almost a year. 

RIP Oscar, my childhood dog. 11/25/2000-10/28/2005

oscar helped teach me how to love, really. and for that, i am forever grateful.


please click on the link below to see a glimpse of what i felt the day that i lost him, and how today has made me feel all over again.

http://blog.invisiblechildren.com/2010/10/video-worth-watching-last-minutes-with-oden/

i only wish i could've spent more time with him.

i love you, oscar. and i will never, ever forget you.

<3

i've never watched this television show, but:

you didn't love her. you just didn't want to be alone. 

or maybe, she was just good for your ego. 

or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, 

but you didn't love her. because you don't destroy people you love.

-grey's anatomy

today

i read more of everett bogue's blog: farbeyondthestars.com . he is a minimalist to the extreme, and i am fascinated.

i also watched the real houswives: beverly hills. and i am disgusted.



good night.

rain.

i woke up this morning to rain. for many people this isn't a big deal, but when you live in orange county, california, it's huge. we haven't had rain since march. that's 7 months ! today was spent in a huge tee shirt and leggings, at the kitchen table working on stuff for my international business class, as my midterm is this week. normally a day spent doing homework isn't fun or particularly enjoyable, but today because of the rain, it was just right. the rain sounded like hundreds of kids licking the ground.

when i ventured outside for dinner, this rush of cold air punched me in the face. walking to the car, i looked down to admire my peter pan shoes,  and saw a red leaf plastered against the pavement.

 i was worried that in moving to california, i would miss the changing of seasons.

but it appears that i'm not missing anything.

tonight, i go to sleep happy.

i hope you are well.