it puzzles me how i am able to keep existing when so many lives around me are crumbling to pieces.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
nothing is ever as it seems.
i have many many things that i would like to write, but don't quite know how to say them. it's very frustrating.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
i gave you my heart, but then you took my lungs from me.
shock. sorrow. shock. sorrow. shock. sorrow. shock.
you know that one person that you give the real, vulnerable piece of your heart to?
what are you supposed to do when their grasped fingers suddenly open up, letting your heart fall to the ground?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
i'll drive them away; the images in your head.
it's been almost a month and a half, but it hasn't escaped my mind yet. I thought it would fade with time. I thought wrong.
The last two weeks or so have been over-shadowed by:
--remembering at least once every couple of hours.
--flashbacks.
--nightmares.
--feeling really detached and numb.
--insomnia.
--feeling jumpy and getting scared way too easily.
--(new) headaches.
on another note, tonight is the perseid meteor shower. when i realized this, it evoked a memory deep inside of me. it must have been at least six or so years ago now, i remember mommy waking all of us sleepy kids up around 4:30 AM and then we all slowly made our way outside freezing, wrapped in blankets and sat on lawn chairs in the front lawn. that was the most falling stars i have ever seen. they came faster than you could count them. and for that brief time, our family was together. all was right with the world. memories are such a blessing. and. a curse.
i'm just stoked that i'll have something to watch while trying to fall asleep.
also. school starts a week from today. since i am student-teaching a drama 1 class and taking drama 3 i'm not to worried about this semester academic-wise. and, i am really close to only having to attend classes first semester! central office just has to approve, and then i can do whatever i want second semester.(since i only need two more credits to graduate with an advanced diploma--BOOM!) i'm thinking something like an "Into the Wild" solo voyage, but more on that later.
i hope this finds you well.
p.s check out banksy! definitely one of my favourite graffitti artists.
www.banksy.com.uk
The last two weeks or so have been over-shadowed by:
--remembering at least once every couple of hours.
--flashbacks.
--nightmares.
--feeling really detached and numb.
--insomnia.
--feeling jumpy and getting scared way too easily.
--(new) headaches.
on another note, tonight is the perseid meteor shower. when i realized this, it evoked a memory deep inside of me. it must have been at least six or so years ago now, i remember mommy waking all of us sleepy kids up around 4:30 AM and then we all slowly made our way outside freezing, wrapped in blankets and sat on lawn chairs in the front lawn. that was the most falling stars i have ever seen. they came faster than you could count them. and for that brief time, our family was together. all was right with the world. memories are such a blessing. and. a curse.
i'm just stoked that i'll have something to watch while trying to fall asleep.
also. school starts a week from today. since i am student-teaching a drama 1 class and taking drama 3 i'm not to worried about this semester academic-wise. and, i am really close to only having to attend classes first semester! central office just has to approve, and then i can do whatever i want second semester.(since i only need two more credits to graduate with an advanced diploma--BOOM!) i'm thinking something like an "Into the Wild" solo voyage, but more on that later.
i hope this finds you well.
p.s check out banksy! definitely one of my favourite graffitti artists.
www.banksy.com.uk
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